


Oh How the Turns Have Tabled!

by Zenna_Crell47



Series: Old FanFictions [4]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Genre: AU, Crack, Crack and Angst, Drabbles, F/M, Kissing, Link talks!, Not Canon Compliant, Not Literally But You Know, Pranks, Semantics, Tingle is the drunk uncle at a wedding, Valentine's Day, but you know, not in any particular timeline, technically in Twilight Princess and Ocarina of Time/Majora's Mask because of Midna and Tingle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-15 00:40:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17518907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zenna_Crell47/pseuds/Zenna_Crell47
Summary: Just some cracky-goodness, with a slice of angst, in preparation for Valentine's Day. Spend it watching the Hero of Hyrule snogging on the Princess, or spend some real crack-tastic time with the Hero himself!Part of a collection of writings I've written and originally posted on other sites. Formats have been changed to suit my current style of writing, but the content remains otherwise unchanged.This one was originally posted February 14, 2016 on deviantART.





	1. Link x Reader x ?????: Kissing Revenge

With a heavy sigh gone unnoticed by the couple smoochin' off to the side, you rolled your eyes and shared a look with Midna. The Twilight Princess yawned and motioned towards the Hylian couple with a shrug. You glanced over at them again and groaned. They were starting to French kiss. Ew. Romantic to think about and exciting for your own pleasure, not so much fun to watch. Especially since you were forever alone and single on the day when love and couples were celebrated the most.

Stupid Link and Zelda. Couldn't they swap spit some _other_ time? Like, when their friends from different dimensions were back in their respective dimensions? Honestly, this was borderline betrayal.

It didn't help that you liked the Hylian hero in the romantic way. And Zelda knew this. She had known you liked the Hero since day one. Of course, she had received your blessing before she started to date the young man (and you gave it only because you saw just how infatuated they were with each other), but it still hurt. It felt like they were rubbing their relationship in your faces. They didn't mean to, Midna and you knew this – they were far too nice and humble. But still.

Dash it all to pieces.

But just as they started to make happy noises in between kisses, a devious idea hopped into your brain. A deliciously _diabolical_ and mischievous idea, indeed!~

A dark grin began to curl your lips. Concerned, Midna stared at you, but that Cheshire grin with the knowing glint in your eye pulled a duplicate onto the Twili's face. She didn't know what your idea was, but she recognized that expression on you unlike any other. It usually meant a world of hurt for enemies, but in this case? Only something truly amusing and worth her time away from her realm could come from it.

Without further ado, you scurried over to the smooching couple and cleared your throat quite loudly. With a faint pop and redness coloring their pale faces, Link and Zelda separated and exchanged sheepish glances from the corners of their eyes, avoiding your direct gaze. Sighing on the inside, you shrugged away the tense atmosphere and beamed at the Hylians.

“My turn!” you cheered.

Link choked on his own spit and Zelda stared at you in disbelief; Midna's guffaws from afar echoed pleasantly in the air. You just smiled your most innocent smile, your head tilted to the side expectantly.

“What?” Link sputtered, his face completely flushed to the tips of his pointed ears.

“You heard me,” you giggled lightly. “My turn for some lovin'!”

You watched the conflicting thoughts warring on both the Hylians' faces. You knew Zelda sometimes got a bit possessive and territorial over what was hers – after all, she'd had to defend her kingdom and power quite a few times from those who would take and destroy everything. But you also knew her large and giving heart. You knew she couldn't refuse you something so small when you never asked for anything. And you knew she still felt guilty for taking Link when she knew you liked him so much. Conversely, you knew that Link loved Zelda very much, and if she said something was alright, he wouldn't hesitate to act.

“Zelda?” Link voiced softly.

Zelda sighed in resignation and nodded slowly, “She deserves to be loved, too, Link. But just this once, okay? And after this we'll be even…” The Princess gave you a meaningful look that cried at the thought of sharing her man, but was too full of guilt to refuse one of her best friends.

Link scratched his head in confusion. Ah, there was that adorably obliviousness that you love-hated. Maybe if Link knew how to be more aware, he would have noticed your feelings for him long ago… But oh well. You wouldn't have the Hero any other way. And neither would Zelda. Still, he seemed a bit confused over the whole thing. After all, you had never told the man that you carried romantic affection for him, especially not after he started to court Zelda.

Still, a bright grin tugged your lips upwards, one that reflected hesitantly on your favorite Hylians.

You stepped closer to the space between the couple, your expression mellowing as you approached. “Are you sure you're alright with this, Link?” you questioned softly, a tenderness that he had never seen before on you appearing as you got closer. “Because if this will make you uncomfortable…”

“No, it's fine; as long as Zellie is fine with it, then I am too.”

A Cheshire grin tugged at your lips again. You had them. “Great! Let's get to it, then!~”

Just as Link closed his eyes and leaned in, you turned back to the Princess and spun her into a low dip. An awkward squawk left her throat, and Link watched in shock as you held his girlfriend in such a romantic pose. Her face lit a deep crimson, and you chuckled, “Who did you think I was talking about, eh? Honey, as much as I care about him, he is _your_ man. I ain't about to get in the way of true love.”

And with that, you pecked her nose and pulled her back to her feet before shoving her back into Link's arms. The Hylians laughed and you just smiled. It might have been painful to watch the man you cared about being loved by a different woman, but you meant it when you gave Zelda your blessing. You would just have to settle with gorging on your favorite sweets, for now. And who knew? Maybe next Valentine's Day, you'd have a beau of your own. Only time would tell.

“See you later, love birds,” you tittered. “I've got a nice, steamy date with the bathtub and a box of chocolates waiting for me back home. So see you weirdos later!~”

“Bye bye” Zelda waved, Link's arms firmly wrapped around her waist as the Hero nodded gratefully to you. “Care to come again next week for a ball? I've got some cousins you might be interested in.”

“Maybe,” you shrugged, “I'll have to see when I can get over here again. Magic works differently in my world, you know.”

“Take care!” the couple chorused, waving to the Twilight Princess as you rejoined Midna.

“That was priceless!” Midna snickered. “Wish they could've seen their faces when you asked for a kiss!~”

“Yeah, that was pretty good, right?~” you snorted. “I think that's been one of my better pranks, don't you think?~”

“Definitely!~”

“Well, catch you later, _Your Majesty,”_ you bowed with a wink.

Midna rolled her eyes, a black and gray-swirling vortex opening behind her. “Yeah, whatever, you dork.”

And with that, you disappeared from the land of Hyrule with a faint **pop.**

 

 

…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Now, where did I leave those chocolates?~”


	2. Link x Reader x ??????: Fairy Boy and Fairy Princess, KOOLIMPAH! – CRACK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the TRUE crack chapter/drabble. I originally posted this in the same piece as the first chapter, on the previous site, but it felt better to post it as a separate chapter.
> 
> Meet Tingle. He's really getting in the way of your date with Link.

It was perfect. The perfect moment, the perfect scenery, the perfect atmosphere. Nothing could be more romantic, absolutely nothing. And you were content to just absorb the wonder of it all in the arms of your beloved Hero, Link. You shifted closer to his chest, resting your head lazily on his collar bone, and you dreamily watched the sunset over Lake Hylia.

“KOOLIMPAH!”

You jolted and looked up at Link questioningly, but he was just as confused (if a bit more horrified) as you were. He had no more idea than you did of where the sudden exclamation originated.

“KOO. LIM. PAH!~”

You squeaked and Link grunted as the two of you felt something small and warm squirm between the two of you. You reacted badly.

“ASDFGHJKL!!? EW. NO.”

But what should the two of you see, sitting oh so innocently? Why, nothing other than a certain old man who believed he was a fairy – Tingle!

“Yeah, nope!” you iterated, a look of ultimate denial twisting your expression into one worthy of death for any monster that dared gaze upon it.

Sadly, this man was a _“fairy,”_ not a monster, so it didn't work on him. “Oh, Mr. Fairy! It's so good to see you again!~ Did my maps help you along your way?~”

Your fearsome glare landed upon your beloved, and he held his hands up in submission. Obviously, the Hero knew this crazy twit that was _ruining your moment,_ so you gave him a warning look that told him that he had better get this _insane midget_ the **flip** away so you could salvage what remained of the romantic atmosphere and resume cuddling. Romantically.

“Uh, yeah, Tingle, the maps worked fine. I couldn't have completed my quest to save Hyrule without them.” That was a lie. Link had an excellent sense of direction. But if a little brown-nosing got the dwarf to back off sooner, you were all for it.

“Koolimpah!~” cried the tiny man joyously. “Oh, but who is this, Mr. Fairy? … Is this your Fairy Princess?!”

Link began to blush a scarlet so deep it brought a grin to your lips despite the unorthodox situation. Knowing that he was shy when it came to public displays of affection, such pet names made it all the more satisfying. You loved to tease your beloved, really; it was all in good fun!~ But just as you decided to spare Link the embarrassment of explaining that he was neither a fairy, nor were you a princess, he confirmed, “Yeah, she is. The most beautiful Fairy Princess in all the lands.”

Warmth flooded your face, and you smiled with all the love in your heart at the Hero. His returned smile of deep affection made you fall in love with him all over again…

A pair of chapped lips met your cheek, and you stumbled back, away from both men. When you let loose a strangled squeal of surprise, Link growled at the dwarf, who cheekily grinned back to the Hero. “It's good luck to kiss a Princess, so why not a Fairy Princess?” Tingle supplied innocently.

But you lost your footing before you could hear Link's response, and plummeted over the edge and back into Lake Hylia with a great shriek. Luckily the water was warm and calm, serene. However, this didn't change the fact that night was unfurling her skirts, and with her came the evening winds. So as soon as you surfaced, a mild chill worked into your tired body.

Link splashed in the water after you, treading water a bit in order to reach out to you, and bring you in for a sweet, slippery (because of the water) kiss. Resting your foreheads against each other, you giggled and nuzzled your nose against his. You gazed adoringly into those crystal blue eyes and smiled. Tingle may have ruined your perfect moment, but every moment – however awkward – always became perfect when you were with Link.

“Need some more luck, there, Mr. Fairy?” you teased.

“Oh, hush,” Link grumbled, tucking you into his chest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A priceless note from the description I added when I originally posted these crackfics...
> 
> lol, okay, in all seriousness, the first story was inspired by a dream I had of a guy and a girl (who were apparently my friends), both of whom had a significant other, that suddenly started smooching right in front of me. And what's worse is that they were ex's. And to initiate the sudden smoochin', the girl turned to the guy and grinned, "Hey, you wanna have a hot kiss with me? My boyfriend and your girlfriend don't have to know."  
> So when I told my mom about the dream in the morning, she told me she experienced something similar (more along the lines of couples kissing rather than the cheating part), and that she wished she had done something like I had Reader-chan do. XD
> 
> By the way, the second story was something I did just for kicks and giggles. X3


End file.
